The Simpsons: Lisa the dead Iconoclast
by MarioMan85
Summary: The classic Simpsons episode with a alternate ending.
1. Chapter 1: What If I told you

"What if I told you that Jebediah Springfield wasn't as great as he's cracked up to be?" Asked little 8 year old Lisa Simpson sitting in the kitchen where her mother (Marge) is making toast and her father (Homer) walked in his robe with a pirate hat on and ringing a bell.

"Look. Jebediah was really a vicious pirate named Hans Sprungfeld." She explained, "His tongue was bitten off by a Turk." "No tongue, eh?" questioned her father, "How did he talk and eat and laugh and love?" "He had a prosthetic tongue made out of silver." explained Lisa, pointing at a book she had with her father moving close to look at the diagram of the silver tongue.

"Yes. That'd do." Quipped Homer. "He was one of the evilest men of the 1780s. He ever tried to kill George Washington!" she said with Homer almost cursing and then imaging Sprungfeld attempting to kill Washington but failing.

"The next time Hans Sprungfeld was seen he had changed his name to Jebediah Springfield." Lisa explained as we return to the Simpsons kitchen where Homer has picked up the book and started looking though it. "Lisa, honey, when my family first came to this state they had a choice of living in Springfield or Stenchburg." Marge chimed in, "You know why they chose Springfield? "Because everyone knows Jebediah Springfield was a true American hero, end of story!" She yelled, she believed the lies just like everyone else in Springfield and was offended that Lisa would suggest otherwise.

She looks defeated but her father cheers her up when he tells her he believes her, "You're always right about this type of thing and for once, I want in on the ground floor." He said with Lisa thanking him before we cut to the school where Ms. Hoover is giving out grades.

"Ralph, 'A', Janey 'A', and Lisa for your…" She clears her throat and says "...essay, "Jebediah Springfield: Super Fraud," "F."" "But it's all true!" She explains but Hoover has none of it and tells her off with "This is nothing but dead-white-male bashing from a P.C. thug." She even adds "It's women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband." before she tosses on her desk.

We cut to Homer on the phone with someone finishing his conversation when he hears his little girl sobbing while walking upstairs and into her room, then she slams her door worrying Homer. He enters the room and hears her explained what happened at school. Homer then suggest they trash the place but Lisa brings him back to reality.

"No one's ever going to believe me." says Lisa, "But you have proof." He then suggests they could get the confession from Jebediah's fife. The two go to the Springfield History Society to confront Mr. Hurlbut about Jebediah Springfield. "Town Crier. I'd like to ask you a few questions. One: where's the fife, and two: give me the fife." He then takes the keys from Hurlbut's desk and goes to the fife which Hurlbut complains about but Homer tells him put this in his fife and smoke it.

He blows it and the confession hits Hurlbut in the forehead, Lisa tells him it's the confession and he takes it and reads it out loud. But he suddenly stops and says "Oh. I think, Lisa, that you've been taken in

by an obvious forgery." "Unfortunately, historical research is plagued by this sort of hoax-the so-called confession." He goes on about how phony it is, "It's just as phony as the Howard Hughes will, the Hitler diaries or the Emancipation Retraction." He throws it in the garbage with Lisa saying that it explains why there isn't any records of him before 1795 and who he truly was. But Hurlbut doesn't accept it and throws them out of the museum and banning them.

We cut to them in the car with Lisa saying, "I'm not going to give up. I refuse to believe that everyone refuses to believe the truth." They go to a print shop where they printout wanted posters of Jebediah Springfield and Homer and the Comic Book Guy have a confrontation about his screenplay. Lisa tries to put the poster up in the Kwik E. Mart but Apu takes it down, their next stop is Moe's bar.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" booms Homer opening the door to Moe's, he walks around in a circle saying "My daughter has something to tell you about Jebediah Springfield." "Aw! That little cutie wants to do something cute." Says Moe in an irregular mood before he quickly snaps back at the drunks sitting at the bar to shut up while Lisa prepares herself for what she's going to say. She holds up her wanted poster and announces to them all, "Jebediah Springfield was nothing more than an evil, bloodthirsty pirate, who hated this town." The drunks are in utter shock while Moe shouts oh my god, he leans on the counter signaling Homer and Lisa to come over. "Homer, you know I support uh, most any prejudice you can name but your hero-phobia sickens me." He then kicks them out of the bar and after they leave he calls up the Town Jubilation Committee alerting them of Lisa.


	2. Chapter 2: It begins

"Can't you understand, little girl? Jebediah was no criminal." Mayor Quimby said sitting alongside Lisa's Principal Seymour Skinner, Rev. Lovejoy, and Dr. Hibbert. "That's right. The reason they say he had a silver tongue is because he was such a fine speaker." Lamely explained Lovejoy, "That's a myth that got mixed up with the truth." Lisa politely telling him before Quimby tells her "You are tampering with forces you can't understand. We have major corporations sponsoring this event." Pointing to a group of men in suits sitting at a table watching them.

"I hope you know you're sponsoring a celebration for a murderous pirate." She yells out to them getting them to leave and remove their sponsorship from the celebration, "Well, I see no way of settling this." snaps Skinner. Police Chief Wiggum suggests they arrested them but is interrupted by Lisa who suggests they dig up Jebediah's grave and see if the silver tongue is there. They murmur to themselves for a brief time until Lovejoy says "I guess, but human decency prevents..." Suddenly Homer starts ringing his bell and starts chanting to dig up his grave before he gets in the mayor's face and tells them that "If you really love Jebediah Springfield, you'll haul his bones out of the ground to prove my daughter wrong." They leave and the committee breaks up to leave but Quimby stops them.

"Wait, why is it that every meeting we have ends with us digging up a corpse?" They agree and sit back down and ask him what are they going to do. "Well how's about we end this meeting with us burring a corpse?" They all are shocked that he would suggest this and more importantly claiming he's lost faith in Jebediah Springfield "Hey now! I have faith in our town hero, but what if her little theory where to be true? The town would be in dismay and people might even leave! We can't have that gentlemen, I've served this town faithfully for years and I'm not going to let a little girl destroy a 200 year old town and it's celebration!" All look at each other not believing this but they know Quimbys right, well all but one. "I can't believe you all! You're going to end a 8 year olds life just because of a stupid conspiracy theory? May god have mercy on all of you!" He storms off but is brought back and Quimby bribes all of the members to keep shut and promises he'll do them favors as well, but if they reveal the plan they all will be buried alongside Lisa. They all regretfully accept it and keep their silence and the committee leaves.

Quimby and Wiggum start talking about the plan while they leave the building and notice a spikey haired kid listening to what they're saying and nab him before he can run away. They bring him to the police station and interrogate him, "Alright young man, who are you and what were you doing snooping around listening to private conversations?!" Quimby asks, "Jeez man! All I wanted to do was see what was happening to my little sister and my dad. Moe had got them arrested or something and I wanted to know what for." "So you are the little girls sister?" "Yeah." Wiggium all of the sudden remembers who he is and blurts out, "Oh yeah! You're Lisa's brother, Bart. I remembered when she broke Ralph's heart." Quimby snaps towards him and angrily asks, "You knew their names the entire time?" "Ye-Yeah?" "Ugh, ok now we're getting somewhere. So, Bart you wanna make your town proud?" "No." Bart quickly replies angering the mayor, "Well too bad! You're going to do this or else!" "Or else what?" he asks nervously, "You'll be arrested for murder!"

Lisa lays in her bed wondering why it was taking so long for the committee to dig up Jebediah's grave but she immediately guesses that they're waiting for the vail of night to cover it up. She gets up and sees Bart walk up the stairs, she sees him tearing up and asks what's wrong. "It's no-nothing…..Just forget it!" He slams his door close and Lisa worries for her brother and wonders why he's upset. She walks down stairs and into the kitchen where her father is and asks him if he heard anything from the committee. "Uh? Oh no, sorry sweetie." She tells him it's okay and walks back up stairs to her room where she reads a book to pass the time.

Soon the warm sunny day turns into a cold dark night and Lisa gets woken by her brother Bart who tells her that "the committee or whatever is wanting you." She thanks him and is about to get her dad but Bart stops her and tells her that only she is needed. "Oh, ok Bart.." She walks down stairs with Bart following behind her, he reasons that he wants to accompany her to see the grave dug up. Bart and Lisa get on their bikes and ride away from the house and to an alley way which confuses Lisa. "Bart? This isn't the grave yard. I should've woke up dad and get him to drive me here." She gets off her bike and starts murmuring to herself while Bart gets off his bike. He reaches into his pocket with tears in his eyes and starts sobbing. Lisa notices this and turns to Bart and asks if he's alright.


	3. Chapter 3: The end of Lisa Simpson

"Lisa…..I-I didn't want to do th-this…" Bart trembles as he says this and Lisa puts her hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him when suddenly he turns out and points a gun at her. "Bart! Wha-What are you doing?!" Bart still trembles while his little sister tries to reason with him. "I-I he-heard the-them talk and n-n-now they're forcing m-me tt-t-to….." Bart starts sobbing while Lisa backs away from him. "Bart please! We can take Quimby down by revealing this!" Bart looks up at his sister with tears in his eyes and whispers, "I'm sorry, I-I love you…" BANG!

Bart looks up through his teary eyes and sees the bullet wound in his sister's gut, he falls to his knees as Lisa collapses into his arms and he cries. "I'm sorry Lisa! I was forced too! They would've done it anyways and would've hurt Mom, Dad, and Maggie…" "I-I understand Bart…" "I always loved you Lisa, I always cared for you even when it didn't look like it.." "I lov…love you too Bart….I forgive you….Ba-Bart." "Yeah?" Lisa's heart stops and she dies in her brother's arms, ironically having her last words being her first. Bart cries out her name and cradles her while an ambulance arrives.

A couple of days later they have her funeral which is attended by all of her family and friends. Bart's completely destroyed by her death and has to be pulled off her when he started crying and buried his head in his arms, Marge comforts her son while also crying her eyes out. Homer weeps for his fallen angel while a defeated Rev. Lovejoy gives a sermon on her all the attendants leave, Bart manages to get a hold of himself and gives Lisa a last goodbye.

"Lisa, I'm sorry. I should've been kinder to you and should've been a better brother.." He tears up a bit but keeps strong, "I shouldn't had done it, but I had to. Even if we teamed up, like usual, and brought this to light, you'd still be dead." He sobs as he kisses her on her forehead as Marge leads him out of the church and into the family car. They drive to the grave yard where they bury Lisa and the truth of who Jebediah really was…


End file.
